Look before you walk

July 7 001
Originally uploaded by BK 14

This is a graphic warning to anyone thinking about walking around in downtown Johannesburg expecting not to fall into an uncovered manhole.

Well, that's a little dramatic; it's not as if the downtown core is littered with gaping holes in the middle of the street. I think it was mostly a lucky coincidence for me.

Yeah, so as I briefly blogged about this earlier, I guess I'll elaborate on the fateful Saturday afternoon when I almost became a South African Ninja Turtle

... So I was heading to the Johannesburg Art Gallery to see the Africa Remix (I will post photos right after this) exhibit and, as usual, I was lost downtown. In my defense, public transportation is pretty sketchy, so you sometimes find yourself out of the kumbi and immediately lost. It doesn't help that rarely will a venue provide a map on their website. So most of the time I find myself wandering.

Anyway, it's Saturday afternoon and downtown Jo'burg is bustling with street vendors and tons of people. The streets and sidewalks are completely swamped. But despite the intense busyness and human congestion, I'm the only white person I can see, so any efforts I make to "blend in" are pretty much useless.

So like I said, I'm in Central Jo'burg and it's pretty crazy and I'm trying to find my way to Joubert Park, where the gallery is, without accidentally making a wrong turn into Hillbrow or Yeoville. I try to navigate around a slow-moving crowd on the sidewalk by taking one step into the street when all of a sudden ...

... the street is gone and I've fallen waist-deep into a hole. It seems that nobody saw a problem with leaving a giant hole (about two feet wide by two or three feet long) completely uncovered about half a foot away from the curb.

Upon later inspection, the hole had to be at least 15 feet deep.

It's a good thing I was walking kind of fast (as I tend to do when I'm walking around downtown) because my momentum propelled my upper body forward and allowed my hands to stop myself from falling in.

In the end, I came away relatively unscathed, with only a charlie horse (see fig. 1), banged up knee and rapidly beating heart.

The funniest part: hardly anyone seemed to notice. The only people that seemed notice my fall were the two who were sitting on the curb right next to the hole. All they said was, "Ohh" and "Shame."

I made it to the gallery eventually and had a great time.

And then later that night I heard gunshots coming from the neighbourhood just north of mine, which is, coincidentally (at least for the GTA'ers in the audience), called Malvern. There's not much of a story there except that it gave my heart another jolt.

I promise that there really is a real introduction coming eventually. It just seems that I've left it so long now I don't know where to begin.

BK

Happy Birthday Marko

July 7 003
Originally uploaded by BK 14

I'm eating souvlaki and Greek salad (you can't really see the salad) at Tropical Shwarma and Grecian Foods, a Greek'ish restaurant in South Kensington, to celebrate Marko's birthday. This photo does no justice to Tropical's Grecian decor.

Anyway, happy birthday dude.

BK

He may look kind of dweeby, but he scored 40 goals

I'd just like to take this time and space to welcome Jason Blake to the Leafs.

One of the better free-agent signings in recent years, I'd say. It finally looks like we're going after somebody on the up-swing of their career. And $4 mill for a 40-goal scorer is a pretty good deal.

My favourite was Paul Maurice's quote: "What I liked about Jason is that I really didn't like Jason." What a beauty.

I'm just glad they didn't throw tons of money at Scott Gomez like another Eastern Conference team that will not be named out of respect for Mike McGouran. That's what I would've expected the Leafs to do: throw too much money at an overrated vet.

Having said that, I still think Brendan Shanahan would look great in a Leaf jersey for a year or two. And don't look now, but Danny Markov is still available.

I'm sorry for boring half of you, give or take.

BK

ps - no gunshots or manhole falls today.

pps - Does anyone know if there's a way to open up a side forum on this thing? I'd like to make a space to get ongoing book recommendations and talk about what I'm reading and whatnot, but I'd like it to be an ongoing thing and not just another post. Know what I mean? If you do, holla at ya boy.

So yesterday was a pretty eventful day: I fell waist-deep into a giant uncovered manhole in the middle of central Johannesburg at the busiest time of day; and I heard gunshots in my neighbourhood for the first time. I also went to the Johannesburg Art Gallery in Joubert Park to check out their Africa Remix exhibit and to a great bar in Newtown.

But first …

Happy Canada Day!

I didn’t really do much to celebrate today, unfortunately. I searched online for any Canada Day parties or any kind of ex-pat thing going on, but couldn’t find anything. I also thought the Canadian embassy might host some kind of back-bacon luncheon or something, but I couldn’t find any evidence that they were hosting anything. So then I thought I’d check out the Apartheid Museum; my thinking being that it would make sense, on Canada Day, to learn about a system that was basically the antithesis to the longstanding Canadian dream/myth of multiculturalism. But then I woke up too late and also realized the museum is a lot farther away than I originally thought.

So instead, I put on my raggedy Leaf hat, went for a late breakfast at this Portuguese bakery in South Kensington and whistled “Oooh What a Night”, “More Than a Feeling” and “Sudbury Saturday Night” to myself as I walked, hoping that it might attract some fellow Canadians.

No luck.

But, just as I sat down in the little café, guess what came blaring through the radio?

“I got my first real six-string / Bought it at the five-and-dime”

Yes, this actually happened. And I laughed out loud. I was sitting by myself so I’m pretty sure the other restaurant patrons thought I was insane.

So I felt a little better knowing that I could share my Canada Day coffee with Mr. Bryan Adams.

Other than that, I actually spent most of the day cleaning my house while listening to the following CanCon playlists.

I made three playlists: CanRock of my youth, CanRock of other people’s youths and CanRock of the youth I’m still trying to hold onto (essentially anything post 2000).

“Papa only watches hockey games”
or
CanRock of my youth:

Our Lady Peace – Starseed
The Pursuit of Happiness – Gretzky Rocks
Rheostatics – The Ballad of Wendel Clark Parts I and II
The Super Friendz – Karate Man
Sloan – Underwhelmed
Weeping Tile – Good Fortune
Sandbox – Carry
The Age of Electric – Ugly
Rusty – Misogyny
Buck 65 – Pants On Fire
Change of Heart – Herstory
Chixdiggit – (I Feel Like Gerry) Cheevers (Got Stitch Marks On My Heart)
Eric’s Trip – Viewmaster
Fur Packed Action – Everything
Hayden – In September
hHead – University
The Inbreds – Drag Us Down
Treble Charger - Red
Spirit of the West – Far Too Canadian
I Mother Earth – Not Quite Sonic
Thrush Hermit – The Day We Hit the Coast
The Lowest of the Low – Under the Carlaw Bridge
Matthew Good Band – Alabama Motel Room
The Monoxides – Can’t Get Excited
Plumtree – Regret
The Rude Mechanicals – Coquette
The Tragically Hip – Nautical Disaster
The Watchmen – All Uncovered

*Now, over the course of making this playlist I realized that I haven’t converted a bunch of my CDs (the ones I listened to in my younger youth, mostly), but I thought of a few songs that definitely would have made the playlist if I had access to them.

The Headstones – Unsound
The Odds – Eat My Brain
54-40 – Oyster Pearl
Moist - Push
Junkhouse – Out of My Head
Lawrence Gowan – Dancing On My Own Ground

“There’s a place in north Ontario”
or
CanRock of Other People’s Youths

Tom Cochrane – Life Is a Highway
The Guess Who – Runnin’ Back to Saskatoon
Loverboy – Workin’ For the Weekend
The Diodes – Waking Up Tired
The Nils – Pop Goes the World
Rush – Closer to the Heart
Trooper – The Boys in the Bright White Sports Car
Bruch Cockburn – Lovers in a Dangerous Time
Kim Mitchell – Easy To Tame
Leonard Cohen – Famous Blue Raincoat
Joni Mitchell – A Case of You
Gordon Lightfoot – Alberta Bound
Stan Rogers – Farewell to Nova Scotia
Stompin’ Tom Connors – Canada Day Up Canada Way
Gordon Lightfoot – The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Neil Young – Helpless

“At 3 a.m. they play O Canada, true patriot love and la-la-la-la-la”
or
CanRock of the youth I’m still trying to hold onto

Joel Plaskett – True Patriot Love
Two-Hours Traffic – Stuck For the Summer
The Arcade Fire – Headlights Look Like Diamonds
The Radical Dudez – Girls Who Play in the Snow
Steve McKay – You May Be Dirty, But You’re All I’ve Got
Cadence Weapon – Oliver Square
K’Naan – Smile
Malajube – Montreal -40 degrees
Land of Talk – Seafoam
The Constantines – Young Lions
The Sourkeys – Demon or Deity
Cuff the Duke – Ballad of a Lonely Construction Worker
Elliot Brood – Oh Alberta
The Deadly Snakes – Gore Veil
Final Fantasy – The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead
Friday Morning’s Regret – Wooden Sky
Chad VanGaalen – Wind-Driving Dogs
Great Lake Swimmers – Your Rocky Spine
Christine Fellows – Phantom Pains
Nich Worby – Brown, Brown Fields
FemBots – The City
Wintersleep – Avalanche
The Diableros – Olympic Island
Timber Timbre – Home

Again, happy Canada Day everybody. If you’re near a lake or on a patio, pour a Labatt 50 (pronounced “cinquante”) out for me. To Bob and Doug Mackenzie!

I’ll post about Saturday’s wild stuff as soon as I can (I’m going to figure out how to post photos of the Africa Remix exhibit first).

BK

Globalization at its worst

So last week I was sitting in Jamilla's Pizzeria--a little diner around the corner from the office I work at--having lunch and reading the paper. The radio was tuned to some adult contemporary, easy-listening station playing typically inoffensive mix music.

Just as I was about to dig in to my 'za, I heard Jann Arden's voice.

Immediately, I thought of something I heard David Suzuki say to an interviewer on the GASCD compilation: (I'm paraphrasing) "There's nothing inherently wrong with globalization, but why aren't we globalizing the right things? Why aren't we globalizing labour standards and environmental standards? Why aren't we globalizing education" etc.

Next up on the station: Nickelback. (Do they have a new song about God or something? The chorus had a lot of Amens. Are they trying to fill the Christian-sludge-rock void left by Creed?)

Anyway, a thought I had. This thing is for my thoughts, right?

A proper introduction still to come!

BK

ps - The song was "Insensitive." Maybe if it was "Good Mother" I wouldn't be so peeved.

Snowburg

Cue the Frank Sinatra (or Hawksley Workman): There was snow on the ground when I woke up today ... in Johannesburg ... South Africa.

According to the papers, it's the first time it's snowed in Jo'burg in 26 years.

There are more photos here.

In terms of Canadian snowfalls, it was the kind we'd get in early fall or late spring, but here, people were going crazy. They were taking photos and, like, taking turns posing with the snow. It was pretty hilarious. I also saw three cars needing boosts on my walk home from work (the snow was all gone by then, though). It made me laugh.

This seasonal switch thing is messing with my head, though.

So I guess this is my first post. This weird day seems like the perfect way to start.

I've been here for a little over a month now, so I figured it was time I got my act together on this thing. I promise to provide a real introduction later ... and I promise to blog regularly from now on.

Photos of where I live will be posted very soon. Exciting, I know.

Tonight looks like it'll be a cold one; I better crank my space heater up to 11.

BK


ps - That headline was so good I had to steal it.

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