Country of Babel

South Africa has 11 official languages. 11!

The official languages are, in alphabetical order:

Afrikaans
English
Southern Ndebele
Northern Sotho
Sotho
Swati
Tsonga
Tswana
Venda
Xhosa
Zulu

Now, the status of all the languages as official is mostly symbolic; signs and labels don't have to be in all 11 languages. But I'm pretty sure the government is required to provide translators for every language, if requested. And the official version of the national anthem actually includes a verse in each language, but that version is rarely used.

In most cases, signs are just in English, or, occasionally, Afrikaans and/or Zulu.

Because of the close proximity of SA to former Portuguese colonies Angola and Mozambique, there are also a lot of Portuguese speakers, as well as Portuguese cafes, bakeries, restaurants, etc., especially in Kensington, my neighbourhood.

At one point, I was trying to learn basic greetings and pleasantries in all 11 languages, but that proved to be too confusing (there's a fair bit of overlap between the African languages, enough to make it more confusing than helpful), so I decided to focus on Zulu.

I picked up bits and pieces from people I met and tried to complement it with this book I bought in Toronto before I left. But the book sucks, and is mostly just frustrating.

So my progress was pretty slow until about two months ago, when I met a kid in the park near my house. I was reading and feeding some ducks bits of my banana peel because I didn't know what else to do with it. The kid joined me and we hung out for a while.

Then, a couple of weeks later, I saw the same kid, and he said he usually hangs out in the park on Sundays. So I asked him what his home language was (a question I ask pretty much anyone - cab drivers, servers, etc. - to make small talk), and he said it was Zulu. So we made a deal then, that he would teach me Zulu every week.

Since then I've been meeting him at the park every Sunday afternoon for my lesson. It's pretty sweet: he's totally patient with me (especially with my initial incompetence with the language's various clicks) and all it costs me is a few slices of pizza.

The kid's name is Mpho, he's 11 and he lives in Yeoville, a neighbourhood north of Kensington.

When I was in KZN (the ancestral home of the Zulu people) a couple of weeks ago, my lessons with Mpho seriously paid off. I never needed to speak the language, but it was a lot of fun to practice anyway. I was usually able to sustain a conversation with someone for about 2-3 mins until I'd used up all of my vocabulary, but it was enough to impress most people. It's also a great icebreaker, and an extremely satisfying way to show up everybody you're traveling with.

I use it occasionally around the city, mostly simply to say hello, but sometimes to practice, and like I said, to break the ice. For the most part, my attempts are met first with confusion and disbelief, and then what seems to be genuine appreciation or laughter.

I get the sense that despite the fact that many black people in South Africa learn Afrikaans in school, few white people attempt any African language. I know for a fact that Afrikaans is part of the public-school curriculum in the country, as are some African languages; but, as far as I know, none of the predominantly white private schools teach any African language.

My favourite times are when I come upon a large group of older women and say "Sanbonnanie" (hello to two or more people), because without fail, they'll literally sing their response back, in unison, always drawing out the penultimate vowel: "Yeeeeebo!". (Sanbonnanie, or Sawubona to one person, literally translates as something like, "Are you alive?" so a common response is simply, "Yes!" or "Yebo!")

I'm telling you this because I'm about to head out to another lesson with Mpho, and I realized I've never mentioned him on this thing.

If you don't believe me, or would like to test my extremely limited vocabulary, feel free to holla at ya boy on Skype.

BK